Thursday, October 21, 2010
BC Family law does not give a damn about family, its a $1billion a year business
Canada Fathers Any advice to save my house? I only found out Oct. 19, 2010 that my ex had sold my house and I was to be out buy the end of today, but I was never served or told by anyone, infact the person who told me was told explicitly not to tell me, so yesterday I went to the courthouse to file either a lien or a subject to pendi...ng litigation order only to find out that a judge had already approved the sale last friday. So i talked to a duty council who gave me the proceedure to to follow (an order w/o notice (F29), a request to a stay (F31) and affidavit stating I was not served, and that they sold the house for much less than I offered, and property value my kid is in depression because of this, etc. I then asked the duty council and court registry if anything else needed to be done and the all believed it was all in order and good. I show up in court today only to have the judge reprimand me and refuse to hear me because I did not serve the other party. Is there anything I can do?
Loosing my house and my life...
Why is the family legal system so messed up in BC? I understand that being a judge is not easy but set a system up to get facts and truths not lies and fabricated stories or adversarial as seem to be acceptable these days. How is it that a person who enters a relationship can verbally, mentally and physically abuse everybody in the family except for her golden child, cheat throughout the entire relationship on top of taking advantage of all that living with this partner had to offer, work if they wanted to, go to college "just for information" not for a career, then leave after the golden child gets drunk/stoned and threatens to kill all the kids in the house have so much power in court and ability to manipulate the legal aid system to destroy everything that was built for the "family" and leave those left behind basically broke, and lost? To make matters worse I found out Oct, 19 that my house that I have lived in since 1997 was being sold without notice to me, and I am to be out by Oct 22. Is this fair or just?
Lost and now homeless in Kamloops
Lost and now homeless in Kamloops
Friday, July 16, 2010
More for my record....
I might do this more often than a journal, and twitter. etc doesnt let me post long enough. But here goes
While the issues with my ex are a long and unjust series of events, here is the latest.
Last friday (July 16, 2010) The ex decided to take My boy and her daughter to golden to drop her daughter oof with her dad (i am told by my son that her daughter drove most of the way 3 1/2 hours, with no license not even an "L") which is typical behaviour from the ex, anything to win the kids over, but
I digress,she failed to tell me that she would not be dropping my son at the court agreed to time, and endec up dropping him off at 9:30pm (7 hours later)but both the friday before and today (July 16th, 2010) she hounded me to make sure he was at her place at the designated time (the friday prior my son wanted to stay with me, today he wanted to hang with me and his cousins, but she would not let it be. The ex also wants my son to stay his her older daughter who had to leave town because of drug and gang affiliations, for two weeks when he was supposed to go with me to lacrosse provincials. The games continue....
While the issues with my ex are a long and unjust series of events, here is the latest.
Last friday (July 16, 2010) The ex decided to take My boy and her daughter to golden to drop her daughter oof with her dad (i am told by my son that her daughter drove most of the way 3 1/2 hours, with no license not even an "L") which is typical behaviour from the ex, anything to win the kids over, but
I digress,she failed to tell me that she would not be dropping my son at the court agreed to time, and endec up dropping him off at 9:30pm (7 hours later)but both the friday before and today (July 16th, 2010) she hounded me to make sure he was at her place at the designated time (the friday prior my son wanted to stay with me, today he wanted to hang with me and his cousins, but she would not let it be. The ex also wants my son to stay his her older daughter who had to leave town because of drug and gang affiliations, for two weeks when he was supposed to go with me to lacrosse provincials. The games continue....
Saturday, June 19, 2010
A bit more of my story, but I need help now please...
Does anybody out there understand Canadian Family Law and maybe how to fight legal badagering? A quick overview of my issues... 2004 I find out my ex has been cheating on me for our entire relationship, I tried to overlook it and we do councilling. 2005 Her oldest daughter who was big in to drugs, drinking, and working the streets threatens to kill the 4 other children and gramma one night, so I said the daughter had to get help and live elsewhere until she did. The ex decides that her troubled daughter was more important than the family (yes the ex has many personal issues as well) her other daughter and our son (along with her boyfriends) and moves out saing "she just needs space" but drags he other daughter and our son with her. So teachers (against standard policy), coucillors and several judges agree that at least our son should not live in that environment and should live with me (dad), mom finds free , moraless and unscrupulus lawyer who in last count dragged me to the tune of 10's of thousands of dollars to 7+ judges and court proceedings to get our son on a 7 day rotation (I wont tell you here what this has done to his life or schooling). (The ex also dragged her other 3 childrens 3 fathers through hell to the point where they basically dont exist in the kids lives). So now Im broke and doing my best for our son and the kids I can help. Lots more story.... anyway I bring you to today... My house burnt down May 1st 2010, I was stupid enough to put her name on the house along with mine but other than outright taking the house from me she would settle for nothing and would not take her name off, she has no posessions in the house and has not lived there for 6 years. After the fire she signed off on conents and living allaowance with the insurance company, which I thought was great. and we would deal with the structure seperatly. Well now she has trying to get her lawyer to withdraw that agreement and she wants control of the living allowance and content monies. Which would essentially at this point put me on the street which as I see itat would now show me as incapable of taking care of our son and probably remove him from me (I may be wrong in my thinking here, I am not her, maybe she only wants more money, both in insurance and support). So what I hope someone can give me insight to law or canadian law as how she has any right or claim to something she has no (what should be) legal interest in. I cannot afford a lawyer, so I will have to represent myself. I hope I make a little sense in what i wrote, the story is much bigger and longer, but anything will help. Thanks
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Not enough "mean" moms or dads
Mean Moms and fathers
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean mom/dad told me: I loved you
enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your mom/dad mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother/father in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches and juice.
And you can guess our mother/father fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
mother/father insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
mother/father wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16 ..
Because of our mother/father we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like mom/dad was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms and dads!
Someday when my children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will
tell them, as my Mean mom/dad told me: I loved you
enough . . . to ask where you were going, with whom,
and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you
discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours
while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you see anger,
disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must
learn that their parents aren't perfect.
I loved you enough to let you assume the
responsibility for your actions even when the
penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough . . . to say
NO when I knew you would hate me for it.
Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm
glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.
And someday when your children are old enough to
understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them.
Was your mom/dad mean? I know mine was. We had the
meanest mother/father in the whole world! While other kids
ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.
When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches and juice.
And you can guess our mother/father fixed us a dinner that was
different from what other kids had, too.
mother/father insisted on knowing where we were at all
times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She
had to know who our friends were, and what we were
doing with them. She insisted that if we said we
would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.
We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve
to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work We
had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to
cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, empty the trash
and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie
awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.
She always insisted on us telling the truth, the
whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time
we were teenagers, she could read our minds and had
eyes in the back of her head. Then, life was really tough!
mother/father wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn
when they drove up. They had to come up to the door
so she could meet them. While everyone else could
date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16 ..
Because of our mother/father we missed out on lots of
things other kids experienced. None of us have ever
been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's
property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault.
Now that we have left home, we are all educated,
honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean
parents just like mom/dad was.
I think that is what's wrong with the world today.
It just doesn't have enough mean moms and dads!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Running for childrens rights in Canada
I cam across an article in my local paper about boxer who is running across Canada to raise awareness about some of the mistakes that the Canadian Family legal systen is failing our children. Kere is the link, it is pretty good and I think he is right and we need to help him... http://www.crosscanadarun4thechildren.com/. Read it and do what you can....
Monday, April 26, 2010
The Garbage Truck - Story
Law of the Garbage Truck
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.
We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined
your car and sent us to the hospital!'
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,
'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.
Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
so ... Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don't.
Lifeis ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a blessed,garbage-free day!
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.
We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.
My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.
My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined
your car and sent us to the hospital!'
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,
'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.
As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.
Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
so ... Love the people who treat you right.
Pray for the ones who don't.
Lifeis ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Have a blessed,garbage-free day!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Two really informative books
I heard two interviews from these authors on satalite radio and web cast and I think they need special mentioning, I also really hope it is a new way the legal profession is looking at the issues of divorce and hopefully will follow up with some new laws and guidlines because things are way outta hand as they are in both Canada and the US.
This first book is from a sitting Judge in the US her name is Judge Michele Lowrance and it is called "The Good Karma Divorce". I have not had the oppertunity to read it through yet but I will, and maybe report on it, but it discusses what would seem to be a common sense way of dealing with divorce if all else fails, it is a positive unaggressive way to negotiate seperation on good terms leaving an amicable relationship in tact instead of adversarial. From what I have read and understood so far I think this book should be the first guideline or step in any divorce
http://thegoodkarmadivorce.com/
The second is a book by Wendy Jaffe, Esq. and while I have only seen an interview of her and her book "Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married" what I saw was impressive and I hope will become something for the legal system to serioulsy read and consider and get away from making the process so adversarial and diffucult when the situatio is difficult enough.
http://www.divorcelawyersguide.com/
There seems to be some big names giving good reviews of these books and authors and I hope to obtain a copy of both of these books so I can thoroughly read and share with friends in similar situations and get their opinions and share them as well. The divorce system in Canada and the US is broken and needs to be changed now, and like I mentioned before I hope these two are pioneers in what is a new phase of Family Law
This first book is from a sitting Judge in the US her name is Judge Michele Lowrance and it is called "The Good Karma Divorce". I have not had the oppertunity to read it through yet but I will, and maybe report on it, but it discusses what would seem to be a common sense way of dealing with divorce if all else fails, it is a positive unaggressive way to negotiate seperation on good terms leaving an amicable relationship in tact instead of adversarial. From what I have read and understood so far I think this book should be the first guideline or step in any divorce
http://thegoodkarmadivorce.com/
The second is a book by Wendy Jaffe, Esq. and while I have only seen an interview of her and her book "Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married" what I saw was impressive and I hope will become something for the legal system to serioulsy read and consider and get away from making the process so adversarial and diffucult when the situatio is difficult enough.
http://www.divorcelawyersguide.com/
There seems to be some big names giving good reviews of these books and authors and I hope to obtain a copy of both of these books so I can thoroughly read and share with friends in similar situations and get their opinions and share them as well. The divorce system in Canada and the US is broken and needs to be changed now, and like I mentioned before I hope these two are pioneers in what is a new phase of Family Law
Saturday, April 3, 2010
I am still here...
For now at least, my ex is only getting worse with the help of the courts. I am trying to write my story with out too much self pity, to explain where I am coming from. i do not want too many personal details yet as I do not wish my kids to be invloved any more than they already are. I will post sections as I go along, but I may not have a home soon. But one day at a time.. Thank you for your pateince. Again I appreciate all constructive responses and help
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
An interesting web site
Here is an intersting web site, I wonder if i canfind a gadget that lets me lists websites instead of me haveing to put it in a blog??
http://www.canlaw.com/rights/fathers.htm
http://www.canlaw.com/rights/fathers.htm
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Thank you for checking this out
I am very new to this and this blog is intended to discuss and hopfully help Canadian fathers who have run in to difficulties with the Canadian Family Law system and divorece in Canada. I am going through and I have seen many fathers leave, be financially destroyed and even commit suicide because of the way the laws work. I am in no way excusing deadbeat, or abusive fathers or mothers. But it is also very difficult to show this in court sometimes, our relativily new privacy laws seem to protect the users/abusers more than the victims or partenes with good intent. Anyway I will keep this short for now and I will dive in to it more as I learn more about this medium. Thanks again and I will always welcome feedback, advice, and help.
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